I AM SO EXCITED FOR COLLEGE I CAN HARDLY STAND IT.
I know everyone says it’s not that great, but I just can’t wait to get out of here. I have four days of high school left. And then a summer of parties and hopefully making money and kissing boys. And then I go to college! I can do this.
If I have some extra time I really want to write a letter to each of the guys I have been with. I won’t mail them or anything, but I think it will feel good to write them.
I have 5 days of high school left.
5 days of bullshit.
5 days of friends that don’t really care.
5 days of classes I hate.
5 days of high school. Ever.
It’s hard to talk about the things you don’t want to admit really happened, but I think it’s better in the long run to let it out. Hearing it out loud makes it all a lot more real though.
I need strength to get through these last 7 days of school. Literally everyone is on my last damn nerve. High school is almost over, deflate your ego and check your attitude at the door. I have no patience for anything.
Can you imagine if boys that you like liked you back
And boys you don’t like didn’t like you
And hearts never had to break
And eyes never had to cry
And heads never had to be confused?
Life would be so different
I have a really bad feeling about tomorrow night. I know that nothing bad will happen, probably, but I really don’t want to risk all the good things I have planned for the future just for one night of being stupid. I’m probably worrying too much, but everyone please be careful tomorrow night after prom.
Boys
Please don’t hate girls for not being skinny
We carry around that fat with a vengeance
We’ll do almost anything to get rid of it
Because we think that’s what you want
That’s what society wants
That’s what the magazines want
That’s what the commercials want
Show us that you love us
The extra skin on our hips
The fat that we tug at and look at in the mirror and curse while we barely eat anything for lunch and run even though we hate running
Love us because we are alive
Show girls that being alive and loving ourselves is attractive
Because it is
And don’t ever call us fat
Even if you’re joking
I’ll always remember that day when a certain someone said to me “wow Bridget what happened? What is this?” and squeezed that fat around my stomach
The fat that protects the pretty little butterflies that flew around in my tummy whenever he was near
But those butterflies are long gone and I’m happier now
And I’m a little heavier, but I’m alive because I love myself
Does anyone know where I can get a pair of overalls? I just really want some overalls. And I can’t find any at goodwill.
I’m better off alone and you’re better off without me
My heart is weary
I think I threw away the key
It’s all rusted over
There’s little hope that it can open
So please please please do not get too close to me
I hate when I’m in this kind of mood.
I just feel so restless.
Nothing in my life feels good enough.
I don’t feel good enough.
I want to have fun and be with my friends but my heart literally feels heavy and I have no idea why.
Tears come to my eyes and I just want to rip my skin off my body.
I’m mad at everything and nothing.
I just want life to be different.
I just want to be alone.
french, french horn, french kiss, french inhale
